September 1, 2016

The List: July & August 2016

It feels cheap to give beauty recommendations for July and August. DC is notoriously humid and hot during the summer and this year is no exception. I have no idea why I chose to live in a place where it's uncomfortable just to stand outside for a handful of seconds. Beauty and just general socializing in un air-conditioned spaces kind of goes out the window. I'm just trying to get home at the end of the day without looking like I swam there.

Pink balcony selfie
Polish Pick
Butter London Disco Biscuit
Barbie blue pink jelly with suspended shimmer. Because what says summer more than that?

Haircare Hero
which is slightly TOO intense for my thin, fine hair but is way preferable to frizziness.

Spa Indulgence
I've been getting pedicures frequently this summer because I've lost my youthful gung-ho, can-do attitude about pumicing my own feet. At 21 I'd get a starter pedicure in May and then would be like, "Hm, no thanks, I can handle it from here." At 25 I'd rather throw money at the problem than hunch over my bathtub trying to scrape off my dead cuticles. My salon is amazing in terms of a non NY/NJ area nail salon. They massage and exfoliate my feet and legs and whip out these grocery store bags filled with hot oil and wrap your feet in them to make them extra soft. Clearly I'm not going to a "spa" to get this done just judging by the grocery store bag part but I'm a firm believer in not going to a spa for your nail care. I want to go to a salon where if they offer hot oil treatments it's warmed up in a microwave and placed on your foot in a plastic Giant bag. Where if they offer wine, it's from a box. Don't overthink it and don't overpay for it.

Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb dry oil
Signature Scent
Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb Dry Oil
This is a new release and a welcome addition to my life. I've gotten rid of all my other perfumes long ago so it was nice to stay with my favorite scent but still feel like I was trying something new. This oil comes with a little stopper attached to it's screw on lid. You dab a little on your pressure points and then spray the perfume on top to extend the scent's life a bit. I like that it really seems to prolong the heavy bottom notes of Flowerbomb, the best part in my opinion. It's definitely no match for 10 hours in <60% humidity but that's a pretty heavy task so I don't fault it (too much). It makes the scent strong enough that I can actually smell it on myself during some parts of the day. I feel like that's a feat because I went nose blind to this smell long ago. I'm sure this would also be fun to test out and layer with other perfumes or body sprays to create new combinations.

Yes to Coconuts wipes

Ultimate Multitasker
Yes to Coconuts Face & Hand Cleansing Wipes
Perfect for:
  • delicately blotting your face
  • removing your makeup when you're "too tired" to go to the bathroom, you bum
  • wiping six inch strawberry ice cream drips off your 3 year old's hands
  • discreetly wiping under your armpits before you reapply deodorant when it's 97 degrees in your merciless swamp town
  • lending to a guy on the bus after he notices you have a very large, overstuffed handbag and asks you for a tissue to which you say, "Oh, I just have these wipes..." and he's like, "That's fine, thanks!" and you hand one over and say, "They smell like sunscreen because they're coconut scented, just so you know..." and he uses it and then spends the rest of his time on the bus making a big show of sniffing his hands and wiping them on his pants like you DIDN'T JUST TELL HIM THEY THESE WIPES SMELL LIKE COCONUTS. CARRY YOUR OWN LIFE SUPPLIES IF YOU HATE MINE SO MUCH, STRANGER.

Shel Silverstein it's hot poem D.C. humidity
Lash MVP
Anything waterproof
I feel the same way that Peggy Hill feels about Phoenix in re: to the DMV and the humidity. This city is a testament to man's ignorance. Humans are not meant to exist in July anywhere south of Delaware on the East coast. Mascara that isn't waterproof isn't meant to exist either.

Power Outfit
White jeans (Hudson) and fun shoes

Lady Dior bag handbag purse red Paris France rooftop
Timeless Essential
The Lady Dior bag
Light of my life, this bag. I had wanted this purse since high school, almost a full decade before it became mine in Paris last year. I literally cried when I got it. I don't even feel ashamed to admit that. I still want to cry almost every time I use it because it's so beautiful. I spent the longest time deciding on the color - in my bag fantasies it was always red but I'm indecisive to a fault. I went with what fifteen year old me would have wanted and I'm so happy I did. The red color is so rich and vibrant and beautiful. Fifteen year old me knocked it out of the park. Maybe I should just revert back to all of fifteen year old me's fashion whims and desires and wear Converse with Something Corporate lyrics written on them exclusively?

Manolo Blahnik slingback Cassia heels Hangisi Carrie Bradshaw Nordstrom Rack Clear the Rack
Cook Kicks
Manolo Blahnik slingback Cassia heels

This actually happened in June but WHATEVER.

I don't know how "in the know" you are about my beloved Nordstrom Rack but the best time to shop there, without a doubt, is during Clear the Rack. About every month or so Nordstrom Rack runs this event where they take an additional 25% off their clearance items - you shop around and if something has a red clearance tag it will ring up for 25% less than that listed price when you checkout. Clear the Racks are generally weekend affairs and will obviously get pretty bananas. Extra discounts are the theoretical chum here and the stores are swarmed from open to close depending on where you go.

So, I go to Clear the Rack in June, on a Sunday no less. It's the last day of the sale and I figure everything will be picked over and I'll be browsing over the carcasses. I'm cool with this because I figure in DC (land of wardrobes of exclusively "work appropriate" clothing) carcasses are things like impractical, trashy shoes and garish clothing aka things I would purchase for full price anyway. Who cares if all the marked down sensible Sam Edelman flats and St. John's blazers have been snapped up? So, I go and am browsing through the shoe section when I see THE most gorgeous shoes.
Manolo Blahnik slingback Cassia heels Hangisi Carrie Bradshaw Nordstrom Rack Clear the Rack
I feel the fact that they are the most gorgeous shoes is hardly even a debatable fact. They're instantly recognizable as Manolo Blahnik Hangisi's. For a fraction of a second I think that they must be knockoffs, maybe they're Badgley Mischka's or something. I'm not even in the designer shoe section, these shoes are in a Sam Edelman box shoved in among the Vince Camutos and Nikes. I pick them up and they're Manolo Blahnik's. Legitimate Manolos. They're silver and slingbacks and fucking beautiful. Like, Sex and the City is not really my generation or my thing in general but Carrie Bradshaw is an undeniable icon in terms of fashion and shoes. These are the ones they chose for her to be PROPOSED TO with and married in (albeit hers were blue and satiny and not slingbacks). These shoes are a cool thousand dollars. It's one of those things where I feel like it's borderline scandalizing that I've even holding these in my hands. I decide that I'm just going to try them on because they're obviously marked down to like $500 or something obscene and all I can ever hope for is to play dress up with them. I flip them over to check their size and I see it. They are $140.
Manolo Blahnik slingback Cassia heels Hangisi Carrie Bradshaw Nordstrom Rack Clear the Rack













So that's how I bought the shoes I will either be married or buried in, whichever comes first, for $105. Cool kicks indeed.

Kate spade glitter stud earrings
Jewelry Splurge
Kate Spade glitter studs
More like my non jewelry splurge - I picked these up for $7 and change from Nordstrom Rack. They still had the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale tags on them ($18 marked down from $30). Someone who doesn't realize that multicolored glitter goes with everything must have returned them.

H&M striped tee black white Moschino belt outfit
Secret Cheapie
This $10 black and white striped H&M tee

Go To Stationary
Almost anything from Old Town's Paper Source location

Corn on the cob lipstick mark
Delish Summer Dish
Corn on the cob
Particularly in these Crate & Barrel corn shaped dishes
Crate Barrel corn on the cob plates dishes

PokemonGo Daniel Tiger
App Obsession
Pokemon Go
This app has been ideal for nannying in Old Town, Alexandria. There's a Pokestop or a lure about every 20 feet. It's been like playing on easy mode. We had enough Magickarps to make that giant sea monster in a matter of 3 weeks. Above is probably my favorite name that one of my kiddos picked out.

We Need to Talk About Kevin Lionel Shriver what I'm reading
Currently Reading
Lionel Shriver's We Need To Talk About Kevin
Dude, I'm all about kids. I've been nannying and babysitting for over a decade. I have never questioned whether I want kids of my own. Until I read this book. Now I'm wondering if I should wait for a doctor's appointment to remove my uterus or if I should just go into the bathroom right now and do it with a box cutter or something. In case you don't know, it's about a mother who sort of reluctantly gives birth to a child, only to have him turn out to be a terrifying sociopath, a fact that no one but her believes until it's too late. One of the most creepy and horrifying things I have ever read. 


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