June 4, 2013

May Non Beauty Favorites

I know this is so cliche and everything but I don't even know how it's June 2013 already. I'm pretty sure if you asked me what happene ten years ago I'd be like "Oh, German reunification, I guess?" because in my mind 1990 was ten years ago. No, we're halfway through 2013. Ignition (Remix) was released ten years ago. That's what happened ten years ago in freaking  2003. I need a minute.

For anyone who has never had it, mochi is a Japanese dessert that's mostly made of rice paste. It's kind of hard to describe - think of a little ball of dough filled with paste or ice cream. It doesn't sound great with that vivid description but it's beyond the beyond. It's a really strange thing to eat because the rice shell is so doughy and chewy and the inside is soft and sweet (or cold if it's filled with ice cream). I used to eat mochi ice cream when I lived in Hawaii when I was 3 or so and forgot about it entirely until I was 16. Just full on forgot about its existence. I never thought of it again until they served it as a dessert at a Japanese restaurant in the city. It was like a repressed memory coming back when I saw it and I was practically flailing around in front of my dad about how "THIS IS THAT THING! FROM HAWAII!". Japanese food is obviously a lot more prevalent in semi nearby Hawaii than it is in halfway around the world New Jersey so I've had it a whole three time since THAT moment, just whenever it would surprise me on the dessert menu when I was out for sushi. And I'm always flipping out when they have it. I never get over it. I know they look like some weird sea creature or something in that picture above but I promise, they taste so good and so unlike anything you've ever had.

So, I pretty much shit myself when I saw a whole box of it for about $3 on a store shelf down here. I was just minding my own business in World Market, looking at a Hawaiian food themed shelf, contemplating whether or not I could get a bag of chocolate covered macadamias to my dad in Jersey without a chocolate meltdown and I saw it. The above box with the word "mochi" on it. I ripped it off the shelf and was pretty much sitting on the floor in front of the display and just holding the box with two hands, wide eyed. That's the visual. Like, you're telling me I can buy this whenever I want? I can give a cashier $3 and get a whole box of mochi to keep in my fridge? This is fantastic. I'm kidding, it's not, because I bought the box and ate the entire thing in one day and those little shits are around 130 calories EACH. Whatever. Worth it.

Judge Judy
You're probably some delinquent if you don't love Judge Judy but I've been on a kick this month. It's moved a step beyond casual TV watching and into the realm where I'm ignoring or getting agitated with my boyfriend if he's talking during a deliberation. Sorry, I need to know if this snaggle toothed, stringy haired bitch violated her lease! I have to find out if this girl's deadbeat boyfriend has to pay for the car he totaled! I need to know if breeding that puppy was a breach of contract! It's important! I'm just very passionate about Judge Judith Sheindlin. I think she's a boss bitch and deserves every single dollar of her $45 million/year salary (I KNOW!) and I kind of feel like she's my friend because she went to my boyfriend's school and probably lived in my neighborhood at one point. Like, I have probably walked in her footsteps during my time in DC. And she's Ukrainian (like all the baddest bitches are) and gets pissed if someone assumes she's conservative. I love her in a real way. I'd probably fight someone who questioned Judge Judy's greatness, if only so I could take them to Judy's court and get yelled at to look into her eyes while I'm talking and not to think I'm smarter than her because I'm not.

Target has such great sundresses for larger chests (as a side note: anything with fit and flare in the title is probably a good bet if you're stacked). I got this one and I don't even care that it's one of those mullet cuts which I usually think are hideous. It's subtle enough. It's so flowy, the pattern is gorgeous, I love the gray green color and the crochet detailing kind of gives you the illusion of a curvier shape. I had to restrain myself from getting the same dress in another print (they have 3 other options) because I have, oh, about 25 sundresses hanging in the closet right now and literally had to buy more hangers to accommodate them.

Sabra Spinach and Artichoke Hummus
I always take this hummus out of my fridge expecting to eat just dip a couple pretzels into it and move on with my life but then I black out and when I wake up half the tub of hummus is gone and I'm holding a pretzel that's totally coated in at least an oz of hummus. I really try to trick myself into thinking that this stuff is just okay so I won't eat it as much but that's a bald faced lie. This list really shines some light onto why I've packed on the pounds this month.

You're not going to eat all that watermelon, Mr. Frampton!
The Smashing Pumpkins
Who doesn't like The Smashing Pumpkins, honestly? One time this guy tried to have a 500 Days of Summer moment with me on the Metro when he saw I was listening to The Smashing Pumpkins and told me he loved them and I was like, "Yeah, you and everyone else in the world." I've been playing Shame and Czarina (I know) nonstop.

Millais' Ophelia 
I'm kicking myself for only seeing this twice when it was here in DC as part of the Pre-Raphealites exhibit which was stupendously kitschy, by the way. I genuinely love this painting in spite of the kitsch and twice was not enough. It was stunning in person. The lace and beadwork on the dress, the poppies in the water, all the precisely rendered foliage - s t u n n i n g. I'll potentially never see it again in my life since it's in the Tate in London (which is about last on my travel wishlist because England is the only place I've been to in Europe) so I tried to stare at it as long as I could. I'm pretty sure people were annoyed because it was the most famous and popular work in the exhibition and I was standing inches away and completely hogging it but I don't care. This is one Pre-Raphealite work where you can be rusty on the symbolism or the literary inspiration and still end up captivated by it. And even though I can't stand the brotherhood's ideas, I really love that this was done so painstakingly from life. Like, you could have stood at the riverbank Millais went to and seen this exact scene (minus the girl he stuck in the bathtub to paint later on).

Candy Crush Saga
This isn't even a favorite because this game is fucking terrible and impossible to beat and it consumes me and I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it and I'm literally closing this post right now so I can try to beat level 30 for the billionth time.

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